It's with great sadness that we can finally announce that Michael Jackson is officially dead. The paedo pan of pop was found dead at his rented apartment in downtown LA. According to "reports" he was having trouble sleeping after an all dayer, drinking a cocktail of RedBull and "Jesus Juice". Earlier in the day the singer was seen Moonwalking around a disposable barbecue wearing nothing but an apron and his trademark white oven mitt. He was also allegedly seen urinating against a wall, leaving behind a cryptic message saying "Who's BA". Later that afternoon, an overexcited Michael could not sleep. After a lengthy tantrum, and without his father there to slap the bitch down, his nanny finally did as her boss wanted and gave him a dose of MediSed. Unknown to the nanny MediSed was recently upgraded. The mix of his hesus home brew and a children's sedative knocked him out before In The Night Garden had finished.
We are aware that this news might be slightly out of date, we were waiting for the official coroners report as proof before jumping on the bandwagon.
This article was written by a random blogger and we (Hunting Lodge) accept no responsibility.